THE SAWDUST SYNDICATE – HOUSE RULES (a.k.a. Da Policies, See?)

(da “Here’s how we do t’ings” section)**

Welcome to The Sawdust Syndicate, pal. By orderin’ from us, you’re agreein’ to play by da house rules:

• Every piece we make is hand crafted. That means knots, quirks, personality, and sometimes a “happy blemish” or two. That ain’t a defect that’s character, see?

• Production time depends on da workload, da weather, and whether the clamps wanna behave.

• Photos represent style and finish, not an exact replica

• You’re responsible for makin’ sure names, dates, and spellings in custom orders are correct. If your cousin Vinny spells his name wrong, that’s on Vinny.

• We reserve the right to turn down any customization dat’s offensive, dangerous, or just plain goofy.

• We ain’t liable for misuse, improper installation, or if Joey Two-Thumbs decides to use a decor piece as a step stool.

PRIVACY POLICY

(da “We-don’t-snitch” section)**

• We only collect the info needed to process your order name, address, email, payment stuff.

• We don’t sell it, rent it, loan it, or whisper it in dark alleys.

• Payments go through secure processors like Zelle, Stripe/PayPal, so your details stay protected like a speakeasy password.

• Want your info deleted? Shoot us a message at info@thesawdustsyndicateco.com and we’ll handle it.

(da “Let’s make this simple” section)**

Look, we put our hearts, hands, and sawdust into every piece. So here’s how returns work around here:

• Custom & personalized items? Final sale, no take backs.

• Non-custom items can be returned within 14 days for store credit, as long as they’re unused and look like they just left the shop.

• Buyer’s responsible for shippin’ it back we ain’t the mob, we don’t run courier favors.

• Somethin’ arrives damaged? You got 48 hours to send pics and details (info@thesawdustsyndicateco.com) SUBJ: DAMAGED ITEM. We’ll fix it faster than you can say “fuggedaboutit.”

(da “Wood’s gonna do what wood does” section)**

Everything we make? Real wood. Not plastic, not mystery material, not compressed sawdust from a bargain bin.

That means:

• Wood expands and contracts

• It may develop small cracks, shifts, or color changes

• Outdoor pieces need a lil’ TLC to stay pretty

Ain’t defects that’s nature’s signature, capisce?

(da “We’ll get it to yous” section)**

• Orders usually ship in 7–14 business days, dependin’ on what you ordered and what madness is happenin’ in the shop.

• Chairs and bigger builds ship unassembled, with hardware and instructions we ain’t sendin’ a whole porch swing through the mail.

• Once we hand it to the courier, delivery times are on their clock, not ours. But we’ll help track things down if they go missin’ like last night’s cannolis.

• U.S. shipping only for now sorry, world. We love ya, but lumber don’t ship cheap.

(da “Don’t be a knucklehead” section)**

Our products are for decorative or household use, not climbing, balancing, sword-fightin’, or amateur lumberjack competitions.

The Sawdust Syndicate isn’t responsible for:

• Injuries from misuse

• Damage from improper installation

• Your cousin fallin’ off a chair because he used it as a ladder

Use things how they’re meant to be used, and we’ll all live long happy lives.

THE FINAL WORD

(da “We-appreciate-yous” section)**

Thanks for supportin’ small-time garage builders with big-time heart. Every purchase keeps the saws spinnin’, the shop lights glowin’, and the family stocked up on bubble gum, soda pop, and fancy hair bows.

From our garage to yous with grit, charm, and a whole lotta heart.